Bish's Precis
- I took a week off work to head to Stockholm, Vilnius, Warsaw and Krakow
- Sweden was fantastic - it was Somers' last weekend there and we made the most of it
- Vilnius rocked also - plenty of people willing to fire up on Sunday and Monday nights
- Warsaw was a little different - less entertainment focussed, but heaps of WW2 history which is an amazing story for Poland
- A guy tried to rip me off at the Krakow version of Hooters. He only got a bit off me.
- Auschwitz was very moving; Birkenau was overhwelming
- Other than being ripped off, Krakow was fantastic - great scenery and great nightlife
Before I start, I have to give some huge thankyous. First to Somers for a fantastic weekend in Stockholm. Thanks mate!
Thanks also to JY for hooking me up with Kev in Vilnius. And please pass on my thanks to Kev mate!
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So I was thinking of a theme for this trip. The closest I could come up with was Tolkein books -
Sweden being the Hobbit (sorry Somers, you'll grow)
Vilnius being the Fellowship of the Ring, as I met a few new people there
Warsaw being the Two Towers, on account of the architectural diversity
... and then I came to Krakow which would have to be Return of the King. That would be completely inappropriate and egotistical - because I'd never been there before.
Anyways lets start at the beginning.
Stockholm
A great mate of mine, Richie Somerville (hereafter "Somers" or "Richie"), had been studying in Sweden, and this was his last weekend in town before heading back to Australia. Little did I know that Stina, his lovely girlfriend, had already left for Australia. Trouble. This was going to be a less restrained weekend than I had imagined.
I got into "Stockholm" (Skavsta) at about 9:30 Friday night, but didn't hit the city until 11:00. Somers met me at the central train station. We'd previously decided to head to a hair-metal night at a bar in town - Guns'n'Roses, Motley Crue, Alice Cooper and of course Bon Jovi. Before we'd even left the train station he'd presented me with a bandanna and aviator sunglasses.
The night was only going to get better from there. The place was fantastic. The booze was cheap by Swedish standards - a schooner of beer and a shot of Jaegermeister for SEK55 (about 4 quid). The people there were also fantastic - some people took it very seriously and some people were there for gags, but it didn't matter - everyone got on really well, which made for a great vibe.
Then the topper. Out of nowhere a stripper appears onstage in lingerie. It made absolutely no sense. Its not like there weren't women there.
Best. Non-sequitur. Ever.
Anyways we got home somehow, and the next day, after a slightly slow start we saw a good deal of Stockholm, especially the old town. It was chilly there - around zero - but we managed to walk for about 5 hours seeing the sights.
That night we had a couple of drinks in Richie's 18sqm flat. As he was about to move out we had to clean out his liquor cabinet. So we mixed a few vaguely fruity drinks together . Don't ask me to remember what the drinks were. We headed out to see some of Somers' mates from uni - fantastic blokes - and then met up with some of Stina's mates in Sofo - also tops . We finished up at a club called Debaser (check out the doorman), where Somers almost got into Sweden's first ever pub brawl. It was awesome!
So awesome that we woke well after noon the next day. I took Somers out for a bagel and we did a bit more sightseeing before I headed onto the train and off to Vilnius. Thanks for the great weekend Somers!
Vilnius
A good mate of mine, JY, has lived in Lithuania for a while previously, and he was good enough to suggest a few people to get in touch with. That was all planned for Monday night.
Sunday the plan was to catch up on some sleep and fire up for a big one. When I got in to town it was -9, about 11pm and Vilnius Backpackers was quiet, but one bloke was on the internet, and keen to head out. His name was Ian, and the place we headed was the legendary Broadway.
The local In Your Pocket sees Broadway as a work of art, but "more of a Dogs Playing Poker ilk than anything serious or fancy." I couldn't have put it better myself. Cheesy music, and all anyone wants to do is dance and booze. Brilliant.
The next day I saw a few sights - the Dawn Gate, Uzupis, Zaliastis Tiltas Bridge, Lukiskiu Airste . It was helped along by a massive traditional lunch - herring and something called "pork hand" (it wasn't trotters). It snowed lightly most of the day.
Back at the backpackers Ian was there, and a bloke called Jim from Tassie had rocked up also. We chilled out for a while and all resolved to head to the Dubliner to see JY's mate Kevin who has just opened the place. Its a lovely pub restaurant. After dinner and a few drinks, Kev pointedly refused a photo, and we headed back to the backpackers.
We finished off a bottle of vodka and then headed out to the Broadway again. This time we headed to the other late night joint, Prospecto. It was like Broadway, but a little less cheesy, a little more Russian Mafia.
Still, but the time we headed out about 2 inches of snow had fallen. Powder. So I got me a snow angel .
The following day was a very quiet affair. Recovery, more authentic Lithuanian cuisine, and then the perfect remedy - a ten hour overnight bus ride to Warsaw. I couldn't sleep. I dunno if it was the booze the night before or the Lithuanian Celine Dion and Michael Bolton covers. Something was making me nauseous.
Warsaw
I was awoken when the driver decided the music wasn't loud enough for 6 in the morning. We were still two hours from Warsaw. I was completely knackered when I got off the bus, but it was OK as I knew exactly where the Oki Doki Hostel was. Unfortunately the driver dropped us at the wrong bus station, and I found myself with a ninety minutes' walk rather than ten minutes (it wasnt even on the city centre map in my Lonely Planet). But I got to see some of the poorer parts of Warsaw as a result - the old, unimproved state housing from Communist times, the vast concrete public buildings. Brilliant.
Pope John Paul II must be turning in his grave. In Warsaw they named a major city street after him, but it is full of sex shops. He is hugely, hugely popular here. Still. Its like Diana in the UK, only ten times as big.
The prison was a definite highlight - it had been built in 1830, but was used most famously during Nazi occupation. The Polish seemed to have been screwed over for a good part of their history. But the patriotic spirit of the Poles, guards and prisoners working together in those conditions, was breathtaking. It was great that they chose to remember the prison in that way too.
As I walked out, I was thinking. Old Towns are starting to merge into one for me. But after seeing the prison I realised that the Old Town in Warsaw had been completely obliterated in WWII. They re-built it. Painstakingly. As many times a s they've been kicked, you can't keep the Poles down.
I had a late lunch at the Oberża Pod Czerwonym Wieprzem, where Breznev, Castro and Mao have eaten, but which is now a little more tongue in cheek (the menu is divided into "proletariat" and "officials and dignataries" dishes).
Had a few drinks at the hostel bar that night with a couple of good sorts - Danny, a pommy bloke, Greg from Sydney and Anita from London. We even snuck out for a cheeky pint and then some deep friend camembere from Maccas.
The following afternoon I was to head to Krakow, but I spent the morning and early afternoon marvelling at the old and the new of Warsaw. Its not an overly sociable city - its dour and businesslike without a central entertainment area. But the skyline is full of contrasts. There is the massive, and un-communistly-ornate Palace of Culture and Science, built by Stalin, there are old concrete monstrosities, and there are a few new office blocks.
And then I headed to a distinctly Communist building - the train station - and headed to Krakow.
Krakow
Krakow has become a massive magnet for tourists in recent times. Yes, there are stag weekends, but tehre are also genuine tourists now. Part of it I think is that Auschwitz is only about an hour's drive away. Also, the old town was untouched by the war, and it has the largest town square in Europe - 4 hectares (200m x 200m).
Anyways, enough of being a cities nerd. I lobbed in fairly late - about 7:30pm - but resolved to wander around for a while before I got something to eat that night. I walked around the old town for about two hours before going to a place that Peebs recommended/forced me to go to. It's called Rooster, and, as Peebs said to me, "its like a Polish Hooters, and they serve chicken!" Good enough for me, and while I doubt there's anything sadder than someone eating alone at Hooters, this was *completely* different.
But as I was about to go in, a Polish chap asked me the time (in Polish, pointing to his wrist). I answered in English, and he engaged me in conversation.
Some people have already heard the rest of this story, so I won't repeat it here - its at the bottom of this email. Basically he tried to rip me off about 400 Zlotich (70 quid), and failed.
Auschwitz
The next day I did a day tour of Auschwitz and Birkenau (also known as Auschwitz II). Auscwitz - the better preserved and by far the smaller of the two - is very moving and incredibly emotional, but even then it didn't really live up to the hype I thought, for lack of a better word.
Birkenau was different. It is absolutely massive, and the scale of the operation really got to me. But the crematoria had been blown up by retreating Nazis, and there were no real exhibits. Unlike the massive piles of human hair and shoes in Auschwitz.
Unsurprisingly. both places are very solemn and quiet. But Birkenau was ruined a bit for me by a group of Israeli college (?) kids were walking around with the Israeli flags draped over their backs as capes. Its like they were trying to out-mourn each other, and everyone else. Some of my mates know that I really dislike this in Aussies (at Gallipoli for example). But obviously I wasnt going to say anything to Israeli (and presumably Jewish) kids about how to mourn at a concentration camp.
Krakow Nightlife - sans fraud
Anyways, that night one of the Warsaw crew lobbed into he Tutti Fruitti hostel - Anita. We headed out for some dinner, and then to a brilliant bar called Wodka. Guess what they served. It was, I thought, as good as anywhere I went in Poland. A small place, lots of variety of Vodka (and 50ml shots, taken neat). We tried about a dozen different types of Vodka and staggered off to a club, Paradox.
The club subscribes to the theory that you can tell how classy a nightclub is by the number of black lights they have. So this place was classy. Other than us, the oldest person in the place was 17. But in Paradox's defence, we got a round of two shots of Gold-wasser and two vodka tonics for 22 zlotych (about A$9.50 or 4 quid).
And the vodka-tonics glowed under the black lights .
The following day I awoke late and did the main sights of Krakow - Wavel Castle, the river, Kazimeritz (the Jewish quarter), and the art gallery which contains a da Vinci and a Rembrandt. I was still a little too hazy to fully appreciate it.
For those of you that know my days back in Wptai, the house in Nedlands I shared with Jez and Eammon, you'll appreciate the bars I found in Krakow that were relevant to Eammon, Jez and myself. I really wanted to pass out in the Middle Earth pub, but couldnt find it when I was boozed.
That night, my last, we headed out to the Jewish quarter (to avoid the stag weekends). We ate a great meal with a dog mingling around the restaurant looking for scraps (he wasn't getting any from me), and then out to a few joints down that way: Propaganda (one of the better kitch-commie bars I've been to in Eastern Europe), Club Clu (... meh), and the excellent B-side Bar, which had good music, good crew there, and was a nice place. All night I drank Zubrowka and apple juice ... to make sure I got my vitamins.
And the following day I headed home! It was a great trip, but I think it'll be overshadowed by my next trip, to the Cricket World Cup in the Caribbean!
What else is going on...
Very briefly:
- we have new housemates! Carly and Luke, a lovely couple from Sydney, join myself, Amanda (another Perth legend) and Parisian Virginie
- I have my Visa for the World Cup now, all my tickets and all my accomodation
- speaking of accomodation, I am leasing out my room for the two weeks I am away. anyone coming to town from 12-30 april can grab a great double room for only 170 quid a week.
OK! Take care everyone! I don't hear enough about what's going on back home. I want news!
Cheers, Rosco
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Krakow Krime Kaper
... this is the email I sent out just after the event ...
OK, its 1am and I've been in Krakow for 6 hours. I'm a little bit boozed, and need to send a select group of my friends this story. Forgive the spelling errors.
I headed out at about 8.30 just to see what the place was like at night. Peebs had previously insisted that I dine at Rooster, which is like a Polish Hooters. I was thinking of doing that after Auschwitz tomorrow but I figured that would be a bit difficult on my conscience. I found the place like 30 minutes later and was looking forward to texting Peebs "I've been in the town for two hours and I've already done Rooster."
Anyways I was literally about to walk in the door when someone said to me in Polish "do you have the time?"
I don't speek Polish but he gestured to his wrist, so I just said it was 9:35.
He said "you speak English?!?" and engaged me in conversation for about ten minutes, during which I was not-so-subtly inching away. At the end of it he said "where are you going to eat?? May I dine with you? We can practice my English as it is imperfect."
I said sure. He said "this place [Rooster] is shit, we should go somewhere else. I know a good Polish place."
I was hip to this particular con and vaguely said I made a promise to be at Rooster tonight, my first night in Krakow. He said OK, and we headed in. I ate and he had a couple of beers.
The food was shit.
He was very forward. I wasn't sure whether he was gay until, during the meal, he said to me "you helped me out, let me help you out. Tomorrow night we can go out with my girlfriend and her friend. I will help you."
The implication was clear. He wanted to pick me up from Rooster tomorrow night. I suggested a bar of his choice the said the Irish Bar right near me. "We'll go there tonight and then at 8.30 tomorrow night I will pick you up from there," he said. Sounded sweet. After I got the drinks at Rooster he insisted on getting the drinks at the Irish Bar. After the first round he emphasised to me again how much he'd "help me out" tomorrow night, and that we'd go to a nightclub and then back to the other girl's place for drinks. It was heavily impied that I'd be up for some lovin - more than I got in Lithuania even.
I said great, too good to be true actually, so I was wary - and started mentally writing an email to you guys to the tune of "this might sound crazy now, but if I should die tomorrow night you should know this..." I put the night together chronologically in my mind to send to you all.
He got the second round, two pints again, this time accompanied by two shots. Before he got to the table he tripped and lost all of the drinks. Shizer. He went to get another round. As he left I said we should get some photos. He put his hand on my camera and said "no photos". The next round was the same deal - two pints and two shots of cherry vodka. The vodka was great - warms the cockles.
As we drank the beer he "suddenly" said to me "I need money for taxi home. Can you give me some and I will pay you back tomorrow when I pick you up??" I said how much. He said "400 zlotych", which is about 70 quid or A$170. I said I only had 26zl on me and he could have that.
He pressed - I should get money out at an ATM to help him. I said I couldnt. I only had 26 on me and my ATM card wasnt working in Poland, and that I had to buy things on my card rather than get cash out of an ATM (which was true - but I didnt tell him my Visa worked fine for cash out).
He said "I spent 75zl on you tonight and you could not help with cab home?" I said I was doing all I could - what more could I do??
He asked where I was staying. I didn't bite. I vaguely said "round the corner somewhere."
I think he knew the jig was up ("it was a bad jig, a terrible, terrible jig"). After a bit more limp arguing - during which he halved the cost of his cab home - and some wide-eyed "innocence" on my part, he said "I'll be right back," and left the table.
I knew he wasnt coming back - I waited my polite ten minutes and then went to the bathroom. I shoved my Visa down my jocks (hence the subject line) and took some deep breaths in preparatopm for what might await me when I left. I asked the barman if his tab had been settled. He said no, so I paid him 81zl (about 13 quid or A$37, by card) and left, ready for anything.
He was nowhere to be seen. No big men trying to extort me. No nothing. So with a bit of relief, I walked home safely.
But anyone who steals my credit card from now on will have ball-sweat to deal wth.
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