Wednesday 14 January 2009

Boxing Day and New Zealand

Ah, the post-holidays come-down. I haven't experienced it for a while. Normally it's hideously depressing, but it isn't this time. Why? Mainly because, as I mentioned in my previous email, I haven't left the Perth Metro Area since I arrived back from the UK in late July. Its good to lament the end of some travels again.

But finally I escaped my "glass case of emotion" and jetted off to Melbourne and then the South Island of New Zealand over the Christmas-New Year period.

Before I get started, there are a few thankyous I need to dish out.
- First of all a massive thanks to Tim Maher, who organised our Boxing Day test tickets in MCC Members. It was awesome being there. Thanks mate!
- Also to Melburnians Tim Leggoe and Kylie Harrison who were convinced to come along and drink with us. It was great catching up!
- In NZ I have to give a massive thanks to Eammon's family - Megan and Mick, Tracey and Graham, and Bridget for all their hospitality (and for the Brain Erasers), and also to Eammon's girlfriend Molly who was visiting from Chicago sacrificed a lot of her time with Eammon share him with us travellers
- Finally, a big thanks to Eammon himself for putting us up, organising a heap of our travels around NZ and doing almost all of the driving. Thanks mate!

Bish's Précis

- We were in MCC members at the Boxing Day Test
- Night time highlights included bogan-watching at Crown Casino, king browns at St Jerome's Laneway, and a Kebabgedy
- I had a sleep-deprived, drunken flight to NZ
- New Years Eve was in Frankton, near Queenstown and was large
- The scenery was amazing
- Eammon and I had a dip in some glacial lakes, Lake Pukake and Lake Hawea
- Also at Lake Hawea we saw Shihad in concert
- At the concert we saw the inspiration for this Facebook group
- Eammon's got a lot of work to do to achieve his New Years Resolution

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Melbourne

This Christmas Day finished early and uncharacteristically sober for me. Shortly before midnight, my sister and her shiny new hubby Dave, Dave's mate Mark and his lively girlfriend Lisa, Kate Fitz and I jumped aboard a Qantas flight to Melbourne. Because of the time it took to serve us food, and 200kmh tailwinds, I only got about 90 mins sleep on the way over. We got to our hotel and crashed, again for 90 minutes, before getting up to meet Tim at Federation Square at 9am.

Aside from the first day's cricket, which was enthralling and included a Ponting century, there were a number of highlights at the cricket. Particularly:
- the opportunity to witness Nature's delicate, never-ending ballet between the security guards and the cup-snake builders in the Outer
- the MCC have their own monogrammed soap dispensers in their bathrooms. I was too self-conscious to take a photo of it, but Kate had no such qualms
- incredibly reasonable drinks prices (a pint of Carlton Draft $7.60 - better than most Perth pubs), the only drawback being the inability to take the drink to your seat: you have to drink in the bars

Erica arrived during the day and met up with us after stumps. That night featured extensive bar hopping in the city centre, including Cookie, St Jerome's laneway (which serves king browns!) and then the search for a kebab. After departing from the group at La La Land, I walked around for quite a while looking for a kebab joint. Frustrated, I asked some guys where the nearest kebab joint was. They said the famous Stalactites on Lonsdale St (past Swanton St). I was around the corner of King and Bourke at the time. So I walked up there only to find it was closed for renovations. I was gutted. So I walked back to Swanston St and down to Flinders St for some HJs and (where I somehow got into an argument over an obstructed emergency exit, and even took a photo of it) and eventually back to the hotel (cnr Flinders Lane and Spencer St), still frustratingly robbed of a Melbourne kebab.

It was a kebabgedy.

Day 2 of the cricket was an excellent one for Australia. I spent a good part of the day in the outer with Kate, Dave and Mark, and Kristy and Lisa once they'd done their shopping.


On the way out of the cricket I managed to see Darryl Hair. He's given up his role as a cricket umpire, but clearly still harbours hopes of being a sightscreen.

That night we started by having some post-cricket drinks at Riverside (underneath Fed Square), and after showering and dressing up we headed to Southbank. We met up with Helen Fitz and her fella Pete and ate at the excellent Blue Train (where I had two - count 'em, two - salads), and from there we headed to Crown Casino.

As soon as we walked in it was clear we shouldn't have bothered about dressing up. Clearly, the reason the rest of Melbourne looks so good is because they've scooped up the dregs and put them all in a pretty container called Crown Casino. It was very difficult to tell exactly what the dress standards were but they included allowing shorts and thongs. Burswood used to have dress standards but now they, like Crown, don't care who's money they take and want to lure everyone.

Not overly keen to gamble, we headed upstairs to a bar with a view of the Yarra, had a few drinks and saw the sights, which included:
- The best tattoo ever: "SICK" in gothic script on a lady's shin ("FULLY" must have been on her thigh)
- Some "cougars" in the bar up for it with a clink of my glass and a wink - they didn't get lucky (with me)
- Something approximating a threesome on the dance floor

We left the casino in dribs and drabs. Kate and I were the last there and she saw me lose thirty bucks in five minutes on the roulette table. Then, while finishing our pints, we observed a bit of blackjack, and I tried to share my very limited knowledge with her. Obviously it wasn't enough as she was keen to get advice from someone actually playing, and in the process almost getting me beaten up by one of those scary skinny bikies: the type that's always called "Ferret".

Storms were expected day 3 but weather was fine. Too bad the cricket was rubbish. Again we spent a bit of time in members and a bit in the outer. I managed to snaffle some MCC merchandise and walk around the place a bit.

That night was our last night in Melbourne, and we headed out of the city centre. We caught up with a couple of other Melburnian mates, Kylie Harrison and Tim Leggoe.

We went to Belgian Beer Cafe Bluestone, a nice garden bar on St Kilda Rd. We kicked on to Chapel St for a while where the girls found a prop for their comedy - a superman jacket.

Booze does funny things to you. I somehow convinced myself that I could drink through until the pub closed at 3am and then tough it out to get our 9:15 flight, which meant waking at 6am.

Kate was having passport issues so Erica and I got the Skybus. I made an awful attempt to sleep on it. Then, while lining up to check-in I was still drunk and entertained Erica - and myself - by dancing a jig.

I followed this by spotting girls in the check in line:
"she wants me"
"she wants me"
"oh, she wants me"
"she's be so hot if only she could pack her bloody suitcase"

Turns out I wasn't as subtle or quiet as I thought (or as far from those girls)when making those comments. In retrospect I was pretty lucky to get on the plane.

Once we checked in I slept for an hour at the gate. Woke up needing a toasted ham and cheese sandwich, a clear indication that a hangover isn't far away. All of a sudden they were boarding. I couldn't get one before boarding the plane. Then got a choice of continental breakfast or ham and cheese croissant! Back of the net!

Christchurch

We arrived and met Eammon and Molly at the airport, and then ate in Christchurch at Coyote's and saw a bit of the Aussie collapse on day 4 of the test. We then back to Eammon's to talk rubbish for a few hours while fighting of sleep and then scoffing a delicious chicken bake courtesy of Molly. Eammon teased us with the announcement that he had a cracking New Years Resolution. Sleep won in the end though.

The following morning's breakfast cook up by Eammon dominated mainly because it included lamb. We then drove from Christchurch to Queenstown, for my first taste of the NZ scenery. We saw the unusually iridescent Lake Tekapo and then went one better in Lake Pukake and had a dip. Glacial meltwater isn't nearly as warm as it sounds. We also stopped at the quaint Arrowtown for some beers in the sun.

The landscape for that drive was pretty spectacular. At various stages in the drive the scenery reminded me of Iceland, Norway, and Switzerland. Why go to the northern hemisphere eh?

Queenstown

So. Queenstown. New Years. How the heck are we gonna get accommodation? Luckily Eammon's sister Tracey and her husband Graham own a caravan park there! Once we got in, said hello and set ourselves up we headed over the road to the pub for a feed. We then headed into town and had a few drinks at the Red Rock, catching up with anither of Eammon's sisters, Megan and her husband Mick.

The previous night Eammon revealed to me that he hadn't had a ladyboy in 2008. So we moved on to a bar filled with painfully young revellers and all had one. After a couple more drinks before retiring for the night.

Some time during that night we also found that Kate had sorted out her passport issues and will be joining us. Excellent news!

The following day was New Years Eve. Before getting stuck into the beers we had a cricket game to watch! New Zealand and the West Indies. The weather started grubby, which was a shame as I had the perfect t-shirt for the day.

I had the task of explaining the game to Molly too. She wasn't too bad actually; she didn't ask any questions like "how many points do you get for a home run."

Nonetheless, the rain presented another threat - that I would have to explain the Duckworth-Lewis system to her. Thankfully, when it rained it stayed raining and the game was abandoned. So we headed off to the pub a bit early!

Having abandoned the illusion of sport there was no pretext to hide behind; it was just straight boozing from here. Not feeling overly mobile, we went to the local pub (which happened to be the one over the road from the caravan park) and we were soon met by a good chunk of Eammon's family. It was a pretty large night and included Eammon and I trying to take photos for a high-art calendar concept: digital camera photos taken through holes such as straws and rivets in benches. Check out June and July (my current profile photo).

The highlight of the night though was Eammon finally announcing his New Years resolution. He's attempting to run a four minute mile.

2009

Kate arrived early morning. Once awake, we gathered in town for the famous FergBurger of Queenstown (it didn't disappoint) and then headed out for a tour of central Otago wine country. We headed to three wineries, with four of us drinking and Eammon driving us around, He was a lonely, bemused non-drinker for the first two wineries before his brother in law and a mate turned up at the last, so they could grumble about wineries together at the back of the tasting bar. Actually, at that particular winery they would have had good company with the grumpy barman.

That evening we took the boat into town from the Caravan Park, and painted the town red. The end of the night involved Kate trying to do the "worm" on a chesterfield couch in a bar, and four of us (Megan, Kate, Eammon and I) trying to drink about three litres of a milky concoction called "Brain Eraser". I still don't know what was in it. But I know by the end of it I'd advised Eammon he had to do a "baseline" mile run early in the year to see where he's starting from. And then I'd agreed to join him on that run.

Shihad and the West Coast

On the 2nd we drove to a small town called Lake Hawea to pitch a tent and watch Shihad in a pub there. It was a huge night for everyone - well almost everyone. One chap in front of us was passed out by about 6:35pm and didn't move until about 10pm. We spent most of the time in between mocking him.

And we're not done yet: join the "Passed Out Guy at Lake Hawea" group on Facebook.

The night ended with Molly being mocked for not having greasy enough hair, and then trying to write her name with her forehead on a window at the pub. Don't worry, I don't even think it made sense at the time.

On the 3rd I took the wheel and we drove up the west coast to a small town called Whataroa. Without a shower, the first stop was Lake Hawea itself. As I say, glacial meltwater is not as warm as it sounds. The girls found that out this time too.

On the way to Whataroa we saw some incredible west coast scenery, not least Franz Josef Glacier. Getting to the glacier involves wading through a very icy river and knee depth, which means access to the glacier relies on a dress code of Capri pants and shorts. No long pants please!
Alas, also on that trip I lost my dear possession, my digital watch. Stopping at the bottom of a hill, I got some stuff out of the back. I thought I got my watch but couldn't see it. But said "it'll turn up somewhere". We started to drive off and I heard a crunch. I dismissively said "oh, that's probably my watch". Kate opened the back door and said "yep, you're right". Rest in peace my well-travelled bundle of 1s and 0s.

Whataroa had one pub which did surf and turf on a stonegrill, which was good enough for me.

Return to Christchurch and The Mile

After a hike at Okarito, the last day of driving took us through Ross, Hokatika (for jade shopping) and Arthur's Pass (for inquisitive kea) and back to Christchurch, where we had our fateful mile run. After measuring the course exactly, and warming up, we set off racing - and I must emphasise this - not each other but the clock. The times we registered were 5:58 and 6:10. Eammon has some work to do before the end of the year.

On our last full day in NZ we had a day of walking around Christchurch (I managed to get sunburnt in 22 degree "heat"), saw the Botanical Gardens, and then driving around Lyttleton which reminded me more than a little of Albany, and the hills above. We headed home the following day.

So that was it! I noticed a couple of things about NZ while I was there. First of all in the inevitable losing of my voice from boozing, I noticed I picked up a sympathetic kiwi accent. I dunno what it was. Maybe I was too weak in my perpetually drunk and hungover state to fight of the pity for our little fellow antipodeans (is that patronising enough for you?).

Secondly, and possibly linked to that, I noticed that the Kiwi radio reports of Australia's cricketing demise. They were loaded with shaudenfreude, and a maybe a hint of an inferiority complex. I don't know whether it's a symptom for what Warnie called the "frustrated Australians", but they were pretty happy with our demise in the Melbourne test. I notice this sort of thing in a few isolated places in Australia to one degree or another - in Tassie and even in Perth.

Nonetheless, there will surely be more of this attitude towards the Aussie cricket team if its predicted slide continues.

For anyone who made it this far, happy new year! The next trip will be overseas. To Rottnest! For the first time in 12 years I'll be back on the island for Australia Day. Should be ace.

For now though it's back to more regular (and, thankfully, shorter) blog entries. In fact I'm likely to start a series of blog entries that might even be coherent in the near future. Stay tuned!

Cheers, Rosco

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